You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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