I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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