you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
