my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
