do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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