Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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