I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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