She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She's the barista slut.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
