You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
