My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
