I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
