Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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