I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
