Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
