I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
