He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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