Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize