I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
