And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
