I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize