i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
