Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
