11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
