My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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