Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
