Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just want nice things and good sex
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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