Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
a search helicopter?!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
