guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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