gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
