If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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