I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
