I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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