I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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