question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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