Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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