I will die if light touches me.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize