do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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