Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
