Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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