The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
