Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize