it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
