Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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