I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
