did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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