i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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