It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
