Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
