i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
