i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
