google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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