and she was petting her beer can
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
