i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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