i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
did i just pee glitter
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