I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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