i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
