i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize