What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
