I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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