she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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