We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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