Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How naked do you want me to be?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
