I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I want to be your penis for a week.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
