And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
