Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
