paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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