You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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