you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize