pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
