Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize