I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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