I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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