just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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