just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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