His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
