3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
