everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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