can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
