I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
