Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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