Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
