I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
