I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
